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The Bullseye guide to the credit crunch

A Yorkshire friend of mine has recently told me, in layman’s terms, about his opinion of the credit crunch.

By layman’s terms, I mean he’s translated it into the language of Bullseye, the semi-legendary northern game show hosted by gentleman Jim Bowen, Lancashire lad extraordinaire.

One of the cardinal rules of this darts-based show is that you must “stay out of the black and into the red (nought in this game for two in a bed…).”

Unfortunately, my friend tells me, the whole problem is that we have been staying out of the black and into the red for too long, and to the point of recklessness.

This has led us to the current situation, which mirrors the final round of Bullseye in which “Bully’s Special Prize” is up for grabs.

Unfortunately, our beloved prime minister is the one at the oche.

The only option left to the spaz-eyed, thistle-arsed miser is to gamble. And as all northerners know, if he gambles and LOSES…

…all WE get is BFH (bus fare home).

If you’re from south of Rotherham, none of that will mean anything to you. Fear not, normal service will resume shortly.