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The ancient enemy

Moving away from the cockeyed gimp Brown briefly - after all, we only have to put up with ‘him’ for another 14 months – let’s move on to our ancient enemy. The French.


‘Now come on,’ you’re thinking, ‘the Frogs are an easy target for ridicule and Obidiah is just being lazy here.


You’re thinking, ‘They’re so useless that even the Germans no longer invade them because it’s too like shooting fish in a barrel.’


You see? I know your minds better than you do yourselves…


But this entry is prompted by the news that France would like to rejoin the integrated NATO military structure. Following this announcement, I heard an interesting programme on the Home Service which I’ll summarise here.

The French, quite frankly, gave a shocking performance in the second world war. I don’t want to take anything away from their performance in the first 3 years of the Great War, but in WW2 they were diabolical. Ludicrous.

As every non-Frenchman recognises, they were bailed out and liberated by the British Commonwealth and the US.

The Home Service pointed out that they had long forgiven the Germans for their 4 years of occupation. For their deportation of the Jews, their looting of national treasures and for the destruction of towns such as Oradour sur Glanes. They had forgiven them and become their best buddies.


But what about the Brits and the Yanks? The guys who liberated them and threw out the German oppressors? Oh no, the French could never forgive us for that…


In 1966, in a fit of typically Gallic petulance, Charles de Gaulle (described by Churchill as having a face and poise like a pregnant llama startled in her bath… It’s true! Check him out.) ‘phoned US president Lyndon Johnson and informed him that France would be withdrawing from the NATO military command. All US troops, therefore, were to leave the country by the end of the year.


‘Does that include those buried in it?’ replied LBJ. Nice one Lyndon.


The French have got a great way of turning history on its head. They genuinely believe that they liberated themselves. My Grandad, who was chucking the Japs out of Burma at the time, was of the opinion that, once the Germans had been thrown out, every Frenchman was suddenly standing on a bridge waving a Tommy gun. Where the hell had they been for the previous 4 years?


Where indeed…


The programme gave some interesting figures: On D-Day 4,572 allied soldiers were killed during the landings that heralded the liberation. Of these 4,572, 19 were French.




Liberated themselves??? The bloody Norwegians lost 37!!!

Look at the whole programme here.